Christmas 2022 was tough for Kelly Samoan. He felt lost when his mother died unexpectedly on December 20.
“I didn't know where to go, I didn't know what to do,” Samone told CBC Hamilton.
Christmas is generally considered a time for family, so losing the family “anchor” was difficult, she said.
Looking for purpose, Samoan, who lives in Hamilton's Crown Point neighborhood, founded Grieving Gracefully in May 2023, a virtual support group for people who have lost loved ones. This year, about 170 members of that group and beyond are exchanging holiday cards. jewelry
Hope, Saman said, is “sparking just a little bit of light in someone's life,” which is often a challenging time for grieving people.
She 'needed help', so started the group
“I started grieving gracefully because — I'll be honest — I needed support,” Samone said.
There's an abundance of reading material for grieving people, Samoan said, but when you lose someone, “I don't really think we're in the headspace to absorb it.”
Saman researched grief, and a common theme was that grieving people felt isolated, so she decided to start a forum for them to come together. The group has events and book clubs, and Samon hosts a podcast.
About 350 members pay monthly subscriptions in Canada, the United States and the United Kingdom.
Angie Hansen of Valley, Neb., says over the years she's turned her Christmas tree into a memorial to loved ones she's lost.
Salmon hosted a smaller 50-person version of the holiday exchange last year that was open to members only. This year's program has been well received by the public. Each participant gets to send a card and ornament to one person, and Saman said some people are making their own.
Angie Hanson did just that. Valley, Neb. The resident owns a greeting card business called Butterflies and Halos that focuses on people who have experienced loss.
Hanson's one-year-old son died in 2006, and she lost her husband and brother to cancer in 2009.
She said the holidays are usually fine for her, but Christmas was especially challenging after her son's death.
“We don't want to show off. We don't want to do anything.”
Hansen said she wanted to be a part of the Grieving Gracefully Exchange to “give hope to other grieving families.”
She said she sent a card and jewelry telling the recipient she was thinking of them and heard they appreciated it. Hanson also sent cards and jewelry on behalf of other group members who wanted an easy way to send their gifts across the Canada-US border during the Canada Post strike.
“For years to come, they'll be opening their Christmas tree ornaments, and each year will bring back a flood of memories,” Hanson said. “As people move forward in their grief journeys, I know that messages of hope and smiles begin to emerge.”
She said that she has not received the gift yet but is looking forward to it.
Kelly Samman of Hamilton runs an online virtual support group called Grieving Gracefully. She says people grieving the holidays should give themselves space to feel their feelings.
Managing grief “is hard in itself, but around the holidays, it's even harder,” Sammon said, noting that Christmas is in December everywhere.
It's really important for anyone grieving to give themselves grace, take a breath and honor their feelings.– Kelly Salmon, Grieving Gracefully
“It's really important to give yourself grace, take a breath and honor your feelings. If you're at a family event and you need to take a few moments … then do that. Don't force yourself into a situation. That you don't want to be in that moment. ”
Samon is creating new traditions to honor those he lost. Her dad died about 10 years ago — she plans to put pictures of her parents on the window sill so they can be close at Christmas dinner. She and her daughter are also baking the cookies that Sam always used to make with her mom.
Hanson said she also developed new traditions after her loss. She made an ornament to remember her son when he died, and now her Christmas tree is “basically a memorial” to honor loved ones.
“It gives me a lot of comfort,” she said.
