For the first time in 10+ years, I rewatched my 2012 TEDx talk:
“YesNerd Fitness and Life Game Reset.Yes“
My first reaction: “Whoa, Steve. These are some EPIC side frogs. “
My next thought: “A daring choice with the striped shirt, jeans, and flip flops! “
Then I gave myself some grace.
I'm very uncomfortable with the spotlight. I hate public speaking. It makes me want to throw up every time. I don't like being on camera either.
And yet, I have ideas that I think will help people.
So I write and share my thoughts. And sometimes, I force myself to get on stage. For this speech, I had to take two buses through the jungles of Ecuador (where I was living at the time), and then take two planes to get to Atlanta.
I stayed at my friend Kappy's house, and the night before the speech, I decided to stay up and rewrite the whole damn thing. That morning, I practiced my speech with his two dogs, and then I rushed over to Emory and just went full YOLO and shouted my speech into the universe.
12 years later, revisiting this conversation, I have some thoughts.
If you want to take a trip down memory lane, you can Yeswatch the conversation on YouTubeYescontaining over 100,000 amazing views.
My biggest surprise looking back…
It wasn't as embarrassing as I thought!
Baby Steve actually had some great ideas and was an okay storyteller! Especially when you consider that I had rewritten the entire speech 12 hours before and had zero hours of sleep. Oh, to be young and naive again.
This is the slide that threw me off the most, and I think it's the one I want to spend the most time on:
Throughout most of my early 20s, I spent an unhealthy amount of time playing video games. At the time, I had convinced myself that the video games were the problem. They had become too addicting, too enjoyable, and that was the reason I wasn't making much progress in my real life.
The truth is one level deeper. It wasn't just video games. It's that I didn't have much of a life to look forward to. I didn't like my job (selling construction equipment), I had no goals or things in my personal life to look forward to. So I escaped to video games.
Older and wiser and with a shorter burnout, I have a better understanding of human behavior and my own personal struggles with exposure and escape.
As described in my friend Nir Eyal's book YesInaccessibleYes, if we don't address the root cause of anxiety or avoidance, our brains will get very good at finding something else to engage with!
In other words, if you can go one level deeper as to WHY you are publishing or avoiding the truth (perhaps with the Yeshelp cureYes) will help you get out of the flow.
Once I found something to look forward to (for me it was turning life into an adventure video game like Zelda and EverQuest), video games suddenly became a far more attractive occupation of my free time.
Today, I still play video games regularly (I just finished Fallout 4), but I know more now.
When video games take over too much of my life, yes perhaps because I avoid facing the reality of a problem in my life.
Maybe I'm afraid to get back to work on my project in the form of a secret book, because I'm worried that it's not good enough. Or maybe I'm avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or dealing with a real problem in my life.
Therefore, the solution does not produce the Playstation. It addresses the problem I am working so hard to avoid.
It's better to know why I'm posting instead of just blaming it on video games.
How is my Epic quest going?
In my talk, I talk about my Bucket List, which I called my Epic Quest of Awesome. For a good 8 years, this was a big focus for me.
Literally earning experience points for completing quests in real life.
I did this after Yesexercise around the worldYes and alive Yes14 months of adventure travelYes.
I even got a book published about turning life into a game, Elevate your life, back in 2016. I recently acquired the rights to this book, and hope to release Version 2 in the coming year.
(This is why you can't buy it now, sorry about that!).
12 years ago, life is a little different.
If you've been reading this newsletter for the past year, you may have noticed a theme: Yesacceptance and self-compassionYes.
I have changed my perspective on goals.
I had run myself ragged for over ten years, building Nerd Fitness, giving as much as possible, chasing the next goal. Each goal leads to the next goal. Every dragon that was killed wanted me to go find another dragon.
It became an endless loop of “more more more.”
And finally I realized that I had gotten very far away from what made me happy.
In the last few years, I have decided to live a little differently.
Instead of big long-term goals with well-organized plans, I've narrowed my focus to: “How can I have a good day today?”
I live as if YesI will never “get there.”Yes
I still have goals, and I still have things I hope to achieve in life.
I just play a different game than I did at 28. I think the “life is a game” philosophy served me well then, and I think now I have added extra doses of truth as this goes.
For someone who is stuck in a rut, and escapes too much into a virtual world, I think thinking about life as a video game can be a really fun way to try. to break out of that current.
It might not work for everyone, but I think it helps to have things to look forward to, and goals to work towards, and then find ways to make some progress.
I cover this in an article called “YesThe Nerd's Guide to Success and HappinessYes” which still holds up!
A little nuance and perspective can go a long way when playing life!
Heading into the comments section…
I made the risky choice to enter the cesspool of the internet:
The comments section on my video.
I was surprised that 95% of the comments were extremely positive!
it was one idea though, that gave me a unique opportunity to do something I've always wanted to do.
Create someone wrong on the Internet.
In my speech, I mentioned that I hoped to one day deadlift 400+ pounds. I grew up tired and weak, and later I learned that I have spondylolisthesis, which means that two of my vertebrae do not line up.
For the past 15 years, deadlifts have been my favorite exercise. It's the movement that made me feel the strongest and most powerful.
I went and found it Yesvideo of myself from 2018Yeswhere after 6+ years of slow, dedicated growth and focus on getting stronger, I deadlifted 420 pounds at a bodyweight of 172 lbs. No belt, straps, and double overhand grip too!
And yes. 12 years later, I had to answer and tell the guy I did it.
Not gonna lie, it felt good to prove a random internet reporter wrong! Hahaha
Small and unnecessary? Yes!
Satisfied? Very well.
Two buttons: power and reset
I ended my speech with something that was much more powerful than I expected.
The original Nintendo Entertainment System has two buttons: POWER and RESET.
In the game of life, we get to hit the power button once. It turns on when we are born, and it turns off when we die.
But we also have the opportunity to hit the RESET Button. If you have an idea or identity that no longer serves you, or some aspect of life that just isn't working…it's okay to hit the reset button.
It's okay to try again, even if you failed the last time.
Remember, Yesour knowledge overlapsYesand we will never start back at square one.
Game on, my fellow nerd!
-Steve
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