Don't look back in anger

2024 is coming to an end, so I wanted to hit you with one last newsletter before the chaos of 2025 begins.

It's that time of year where our brains almost automatically look back on the past year.

What went right, what went wrong.

What we achieved, what we didn't follow through on.

If you're like me, it's easy to get over the “what went wrong” part, and feel all kinds of negative emotions about these things.

We may look back with guilt at something we did or didn't do. As I said in an earlier newsletter, I am someone who has Yesthe greatest number of “Catholic guilt”Yes although I am not religious.

I came across a story a few months ago that I still think about. Reportedly, there is no word in the Tibetan language that directly translates to “guilty.” The closest possible translation is something closer to “intelligent repentance.”

I don't speak Tibetan and I haven't been able to find a Tibetan speaker to confirm this, but I think it's a beautiful feeling that will help us as we move into 2025.

Guilt can be corrosive and unproductive. But as Dan Pink says in his book YesThe Power of RepentanceYes, looking back with the right hand good regretting things that happened or didn't happen can be powerful and transformative for our future selves.

So, instead of trying to live a “ragret-free” life (the other side of intelligence)…

We can intelligently regret how 2024 went.

So, in honor of the band Oasis reuniting for next year, Yesdon't look back in angerYes (still jam all the time, by the way).

Instead… let's look back with curiosity.

Look back with curiosity, not judgment.

Take some time today, and look back on your year with Yescuriosity, not judgmentYes.

Did you achieve what they wanted to achieve? Great! I bet you learned something.

Did your life go off the rails and you spent most of the year just trying to stay afloat! Great! I bet you learned something! Did you start and stop and trust to visit again and again? Great! I bet you learned something!

Write these things down. Notice the emotions you feel when you look back. Write down what you learned, and how that will inform decisions or choices you make in the future.

Maybe you learned that you hate running, or that going Keto was a complete failure, or that being a first-time parent really bothered you life, or that we cannot keep up with the morning routine.

These are all things that happened. Now, we need to decide what kind of emotion to use for these things.

Remember, Yesthe past is not set in stoneYesand some of these problems or failures may be the very lesson you needed to learn for Future You. They may be the tool for your next step forward.

Remember, NOT “I failed/failed, therefore I'm lost…”

It's, “I failed/failed, and I learned this lesson that I can apply to 2025.”