I am reading now YesThe Compression CupYesa fantasy detective novel.
Think “Sherlock Holmes set in Westeros.”
The main character has this enhancement that allows him to take in every detail of every interaction, crime scene, and then recount those exact details later.
I remember it being scary Black Mirror program about this very thing: being able to remember every fact of every past interaction.
Here's the thing: in all of these situations, the facts may be true, but the analysis of those facts still leaves plenty of room for improvement.
I was thinking about this a lot recently when I came across two stories that I want to share:
“YesThe past is not realYes” from Derek Sivers:
When I was 17, I was driving recklessly and crashed into an oncoming car. I found out that I broke the other driver's back, and she never walked again.
I carried that burden with me everywhere, and I felt so terrible about it for so many years that I decided at the age of 35 to find this woman to apologize to. I found her name and address, went to her house, knocked on the door, and a middle-aged woman answered. As soon as I said, “I'm the teenager who hit your car eighteen years ago and broke your spine”, I started bawling – a big ugly cry, coming to the surface of years of regret.
She was so sweet, and she kissed me saying, “Oh sweetie, sweetie! Don't worry. I'm fine!” Then she walked me into her living room. Walked.
It turns out that I was misunderstood.
Yes, she broke a few vertebrae but that didn't stop her from walking. She said that “that little accident” helped her pay more attention to her fitness, and since then she has been in better health than ever.
Then she apologized for causing the accident in the first place. Excuse me.
And this Yesa story about “the good old days”Yes from author Morgan Housel:
A few months ago I reminisced to my wife about how terrible (life was in our early 20's). We were 23, gainfully employed, living in our version of the Taj Mahal. This was before kids, so we slept in until 10am on the weekend, went for a walk, had brunch, took a nap, and went out for dinner. That was our life. For years.
“That was top living, as good as it gets,” I told her.
“What are you talking about?” she said. “You were more anxious, scared, and maybe depressed then than you've ever been.”
…in my head, today, I look back and think, “I must have been so happy then. Those were my best years.”
But really, at the time, I was thinking, “I can't wait for these years to be over.”
It made me think a lot about the past, and about our future. It turns out, one is not set in stone!
What old story can you rewrite?
As the cliché goes, it's easier to connect the dots looking back than it is looking forward.
Do you have a story from your past about a special time that you still carry with you?
He might be full of shame about something that happened, but it led to something even better for you.
He may be wishing for a past life that never existed.
The past has already happened, but that doesn't mean it's set in stone!
Back to Sivers:
“You can change your history.
The actual events are such a small part of it. Everything else is perspective, open to reinterpretation.
The past is never done.”
I would like to know what story you tell yourself about the past, good or bad, that you decide to rewrite?
-Steve
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