Cecile Wilkinson always wanted grandchildren.
This past June, she finally got her wish — though it wasn't quite what you'd expect.
Wilkinson was sitting on a green bench at a library branch in Tecumseh, Ont., when a teenage girl sat down next to her.
The 83-year-old lives in the Village of Aspen Lake in Windsor — a seniors home operated by Schlegel Villages. The privately owned company's Green Bench initiative, which began nearly a decade ago, encourages community members to sit next to seniors and listen to their wisdom.
“I just sat on the bench and thought it should be, but then they introduced me to Matthew,” Wilkinson said.
There was an immediate connection that spread through the stories of Wilkinson's life and his travels to Walt Disney World.
“It was really interesting to hear his perspective on going there and seeing something he's loved his whole life,” said 13-year-old Matthew Wilder, who also loves Disney.
It was an unexpected connection and continued to grow as Wilder and his mother began visiting Wilkinson at his care home.
Now sitting next to each other, the couple laughs like a grandmother and granddaughter.
“He's just a lover,” Wilkinson said. “I wonder if anyone would be interested in me.”
But Wilder can't trust anyone. –
“I'm learning about how she lived her life and how I'm trying to live my life, like she always lived her life with kindness and I want to do the same.” He said.
Green Bench Celebrates 'Wisdom of Elders'
The goal of the green bench is to start a conversation between different generations — encouraging older people to share their wisdom with younger community members, according to Jenny Brown, recreation director for The Village of Aspen Lake.
She says it's a “celebration of elder wisdom.”
“(() Over the years, the approach has been to settle in long-term care homes and other care homes for seniors outside and so they don't really feel connected to the community and I believe that a vibrant community needs its elders. And so we have to talk to them,” Brown said.
Seeing Wilkinson and Wilder's relationship grow, Brown said she “couldn't be happier.”
“We hope so,” she said.
Or at least, Brown said, they hope it creates a meaningful moment between people.
Once, Brown said, they brought a green bench to Windsor's riverfront. A young man on a skateboard came and sat down, hooking up with an elderly resident who was there, she said.
“The conversation he had with that senior at that time was whether or not he should stay in school, which is a very big conversation to have with someone you've just met, but it was an opportunity for him to connect with someone. Give him an honest opinion,” she said.
Brown said she knows seniors walk away from these interactions with a “sense of pride” and a sense that “I still matter.”
A mobile green bench to hop between community libraries
In hopes of getting people connected, the Village of Slagle donated a green bench to the Essex County Library in October.
The bench, which is currently at the LaSalle branch, will be moving to different branches in the area in the new year.
“We hope it will build community and promote a level of understanding … between people who may be different than you,” Brown said.
And maybe, if you're lucky enough, you'll form a bond like Wilder and Wilkinson's.
For Wilkinson, whose husband died nearly a year ago, Wilder's company means more than words can say.
“Having him in my life, it's changed me,” she said.
“I feel so good that someone wants to be with me.”
“She's a beautiful grandmother,” Wilder said.
Beaming, Wilkinson said, “And you're a beautiful grandson.”
