Today is the most optimistic and hopeful day of the year.
That's great!
Whatever goals or resolutions you have set for yourself, I am excited for you!
We are all trying to improve ourselves, and although things have not worked out the way we wanted them to in the past, we hope this time will be different.
Musician Nick Cave describes hope as “hope with a broken heart,” and I think that's pretty accurate. We are all trying to be different when change is so bad.
If you are trying to build a new work habit or change the number on the scale this year, I welcome you. Setting a goal for change is highly recommended.
But to give ourselves the best chance of achieving our goal, we need to combine the goal with some self-reflection and self-awareness.
Here are TWO questions to ask yourself as we begin 2025…
Question 1: What's different this time?
I'm proud of you for starting over.
But what is different about this effort?
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always had.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
If you choose the same goal or strategy that you have tried (unsuccessfully) in the past, the end result will be the same: another lost year of “why can't I do my task” together?”
So, be intentional about what's different this time!
Don't just “go on XYZ diet” or “give up sugar forever” or “train for a marathon” again, especially if you've tried those things before and couldn't stick to them.
Something must be different this time:
- Make fewer changes.
- Pick ONE goal and focus on it.
- Choose a different exercise method.
- Choose a different diet or nutritional change.
- Choose a different time of day to calculate.
- Recruit a friend to come with you so you're not doing it alone.
- Make the new behavior you want Yesuseful or necessaryYes.
Prove to yourself that you have learned something from your previous attempts. Don't let past failures be in vain – they show you what doesn't work For you.
Try something different this time!
Question 2: What are you afraid of?
You're full of momentum right now, and that's great.
But three weeks from now, life will happen, and something will go wrong.
What have you had when this happened in the past?
We ask each YesNF Coaching ClientYes before they start, “What are you so worried about?”
That answer is something they are aware of as a result of their previous efforts:
Are you going to be busy and decide to “take a break until things slow down?” “ Great! Now that you know when that little voice in your head says this, you can prepare for it, plan to do something different, and decide not to. Yes listen to that voice in your head.
Do you have one bad day and go completely off the rails? Great! Now you know that when you have one bad day, you can forgive yourself, not look back in anger or guilt, and get back on track.
Are you going to give up even though you really want to push through? Great! This happens to all of us when motivation wanes after a few weeks. Consider Yesadds Ulysses AgreementYes guard against your weaknesses or make a bet with a friend to keep you accountable.
NF Coach Matt Myers was on site recently YesMental Golf Podcast with Josh NicholsYes – and at the 24:30 mark in the episode, Matt pointed out something to Josh that surprised him:
“You told me before you started, 'I know I'm going to come out of the gates HARD, but about 3 weeks in, I'm going to burn out and disappear.'
And I said, 'Thanks for calling me,' and all these alarms and warnings were ready to go in with you time and time again around the 21 day mark!”
Josh had the self-awareness to know where he would go wrong in the future, he and Coach Matt planned for it, and got over the hump together.
Since then, they have been working together for two months (and counting), and Josh has only missed one day of recording and has not missed a single day that caused Josh's usual behavior to “a h -all or nothing”!
This time may be different
We all aspire to change, and even when we are self-conscious…
We often bite off more than we can chew:
Our goals and hopes often overshadow the fact that we are sweaty, busy, complicated people living unpredictable lives.
It's ok!
If we are aware of these things, if we can try differently… then even if this the next more effort doesn't work, we can remove that strategy from the list of possible successful paths, and try again.
That's what life is all about anyway: try, fail, change, start again.
-Steve
PS: If you don't want to go on this journey alone, I would be honored if you would investigate YesNF Coaching ProgramYes.
Our coaches are great and we would love to help you achieve your goals. We've had a TON of registrations in the past few days, so I'm excited to help so many new people.
